Who Made You the Expert?

You've asked me yet again about my carpal tunnel.

How is it, you ask? It's just fine, I guess. I mean, it's just fine because nothing has changed. It's not like I woke up this morning and it magically disappeared. I can't just snap my fingers and it's gone.

You think I'm being cynical? Well I guess you just don't understand. Have you ever had carpal tunnel? Do you even know the first thing about it? Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude. It's hard to have so many people ask me about it so offhandedly.

What is that? You ask if I've been icing it? Well of course, every night.

You wonder if I've been wearing my brace? Well of course, I only take it off when I shower.

You say I should use my wrist less. Oh really? Well, how do you expect me to play in two ensembles, practice daily for private lessons, and do my schoolwork without my wrist?

You argue I should just stop playing my instruments. That just does not make sense to me. I don't understand why I have to stop doing what I love because I have an injury. Music is part of my identity; carpal tunnel is not. Why should I surrender part of my identity because of a physical obstacle? I won't give up that easily.

You say it's probably something I'm doing wrong. Maybe I should stop wearing a heavy backpack because the heavy weight causes tension in my back that transfers to my wrist. You say I should tilt my head forward when I play the clarinet because the stiffness in my neck transfers to my wrist. You say I am probably eating the wrong foods and need to start eating more greens and fruits that will decrease inflammation. I'm probably sleeping wrong too. If I were just more cautious when I slept, I would put less pressure on my wrist.

Well you know what? Maybe I'm tired of hearing all of your suggestions. Maybe I'm tired of your temporary concern for my well-being and your random pieces of advice. I'm sorry, but you are not a creative genius; I have heard these suggestions before. I have heard them time and time again and I am tired of them.

Minor changes, such as eating different foods and controlling how I sleep, are not going to magically fix my problem. When you try all of these strategies at the same time they make a small difference, but not a noticeable one.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be cynical. I understand that my situation could be much worse. I understand that I am one among many injured musicians suffering from cases of carpal tunnel and tendinitis far worse than my own.

You just need to understand that I'm growing weary of your advice. I know you mean well and you do really care. I appreciate that you want to help, but I can't stand to listen to your advice any longer. It makes me feel hopeless about my current condition. Your comments only remind me that my condition is no longer reparable. This reminder pushes me into a state of negativity quite unlike my normally positive outlook on life.

If you want me to be happy and optimistic about my carpal tunnel, please just stop asking me about it for the sake of asking. If I want to talk about it I will let you know, and I promise I will appreciate your advice. For now, though, please let me try to deal with my condition independently of your advice.