Who Made You the Expert?

You've asked me yet again about my carpal tunnel.

How is it, you ask? It's just fine, I guess. I mean, it's just fine because nothing has changed. It's not like I woke up this morning and it magically disappeared. I can't just snap my fingers and it's gone.

You think I'm being cynical? Well I guess you just don't understand. Have you ever had carpal tunnel? Do you even know the first thing about it? Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude. It's hard to have so many people ask me about it so offhandedly.

What is that? You ask if I've been icing it? Well of course, every night.

You wonder if I've been wearing my brace? Well of course, I only take it off when I shower.

You say I should use my wrist less. Oh really? Well, how do you expect me to play in two ensembles, practice daily for private lessons, and do my schoolwork without my wrist?

You argue I should just stop playing my instruments. That just does not make sense to me. I don't understand why I have to stop doing what I love because I have an injury. Music is part of my identity; carpal tunnel is not. Why should I surrender part of my identity because of a physical obstacle? I won't give up that easily.

You say it's probably something I'm doing wrong. Maybe I should stop wearing a heavy backpack because the heavy weight causes tension in my back that transfers to my wrist. You say I should tilt my head forward when I play the clarinet because the stiffness in my neck transfers to my wrist. You say I am probably eating the wrong foods and need to start eating more greens and fruits that will decrease inflammation. I'm probably sleeping wrong too. If I were just more cautious when I slept, I would put less pressure on my wrist.

Well you know what? Maybe I'm tired of hearing all of your suggestions. Maybe I'm tired of your temporary concern for my well-being and your random pieces of advice. I'm sorry, but you are not a creative genius; I have heard these suggestions before. I have heard them time and time again and I am tired of them.

Minor changes, such as eating different foods and controlling how I sleep, are not going to magically fix my problem. When you try all of these strategies at the same time they make a small difference, but not a noticeable one.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be cynical. I understand that my situation could be much worse. I understand that I am one among many injured musicians suffering from cases of carpal tunnel and tendinitis far worse than my own.

You just need to understand that I'm growing weary of your advice. I know you mean well and you do really care. I appreciate that you want to help, but I can't stand to listen to your advice any longer. It makes me feel hopeless about my current condition. Your comments only remind me that my condition is no longer reparable. This reminder pushes me into a state of negativity quite unlike my normally positive outlook on life.

If you want me to be happy and optimistic about my carpal tunnel, please just stop asking me about it for the sake of asking. If I want to talk about it I will let you know, and I promise I will appreciate your advice. For now, though, please let me try to deal with my condition independently of your advice.

Pinky Up, Dear

What Your CSL Etiquette Says About Your Character and Self-Esteem

The CSL is a very important place, the social hub of Augustana's campus. Even if you don't have a meal plan or don't eat at the CSL on a regular basis, you still know what the CSL is if you go to Augustana College. The CSL's importance stems from the power food has in bringing people together. Everybody loves food, and even if you don't particularly enjoy all of the food the CSL provides, you probably enjoy some of the foods and have gone enough to learn the "ins and outs" of dining at the CSL. The following scenarios present the ways in which a person's CSL etiquette defines that person's character and self-esteem.


Scenario 1: Neglecting to put tops back on the soup containers

In this first scenario, Nicole neglected to replace the tops on the soup containers after she dished up some tomato basil soup. This really does not seem to be a significant problem, but this actually speaks loudly of her character. Nicole's negligence shows a degree of apathy. She has not considered that the CSL worker now has to take extra time to replace the lids on the soup containers. She is letting heat out and making the soup colder for everyone else. Her inability to do even the most simple polite gestures makes one fear how she might address the needs of others in a broader context.



Scenario 2: Putting silverware on the conveyor belt

 In this second scenario, Nicole is consciously deciding to put her silverware on the conveyor belt, even though there is a sign asking those who dine to throw their silverware down the shoot. Nicole is once again being apathetic. She does not care that the CSL dish-washers have to take extra time to put her silverware with everyone else's silverware. Nicole is being extremely lazy. All she has to do is pick up the silverware from her plate and throw it down a shoot located directly in front of her, but instead she chooses to put it on the conveyor belt. She feels no guilt, or if she does, it soon disappears.

Scenario 3: Eating too many cookie bars and brownies

In this third scenario, Nicole is eating two cookie bars and a brownie in one sitting. Our society would call this "too many" cookie bars and brownies. From society's standpoint, we can analyze this situation in multiple ways. Nicole is possibly eating so many sweets because she is upset about something, and she's just eating her problems away. Or perhaps, Nicole is confident enough to disregard  what society labels as "too many" sweets and eats whatever she wants to eat in whatever quantity.





Scenario 4: Eating alone at a large table

In this fourth scenario, Nicole is enjoying her multiple desserts alone at one of the large round tables. This particular scenario says quite a bit about the type of person Nicole is. First, Nicole may be very lonely. She is unable to find anyone to eat with at lunch and must resort to eating alone. Perhaps she likes eating alone, but in many cases, people do not prefer to eat alone. Perhaps Nicole struggles to make friends and must suffer the humiliation of sitting alone because she could not find anyone who wanted to sit with her. Second, Nicole is again being very rude. There are multiple smaller tables in the CSL that Nicole could have chosen to sit at when enjoying her desserts, but instead she chose to sit at a 6-8 person table by herself, an action that personally bothers me when I am looking for a table in the CSL. If the CSL is very full, a large group will not be able to sit together because she has taken the entire table for herself. Was it truly necessary that Nicole sit at this table?


Scenario 5: Stealing those delicious cookie bars and brownies

In this final scenario, Nicole has gotten over the fact that she had to eat alone and has moved on to much bigger and better things: stealing sweets and hiding them in her backpack. It is extremely common for students to take extra sweets or fruits and stash them away in their backpacks before leaving the CSL. The CSL provides many quick foods to grab and save for later, but these foods are not intended to be taken in large quantities. Students take them and hide them in their backpacks because they know what they are doing is wrong. Nicole is showing a clear disregard for rules by putting away more desserts in her backpack.




While many of these scenarios may seem silly or insignificant, I believe they actually say a lot about a person's character and self-esteem. We all see these various scenarios played out in the CSL on a daily basis. However, they may have more meaning than it seems. The ways in which people conduct themselves in public say a lot about them. A person who sits alone in the CSL may experience a low self-esteem or insecurity. Does this seem to be true? And does a person who refuses to replace a lid on a soup bowl or put silverware down the silverware shoot not care about how it affects other people?

I think the ways in which we handle the little things say a lot about how we handle the big things. I argue that if we cannot handle easy tasks like putting a lid back on a container, we cannot handle dealing with more significant public issues in our careers and adult lives. Next time you visit the CSL, take the time to consider how your actions affect others. The little things speak wonders about the big things.

*Thank you to Nicole Chase for being my model. I do not believe you are apathetic, rude or insecure. You are great.*

E-dentity Crisis

I'm having an e-dentity crisis.

I'm having an e-dentity crisis because of what I found when I "Googled" myself. When I "Googled" myself I expected to find standard results such as my social media accounts and links to articles from my high school or youth symphony, but I never expected to find my name linked to my brother's.

In this picture, my brother William just looks like a goofy dude. However, William is practically a genius. In 2010 he was awarded the Rhodes Scholarship, a scholarship given to 32 students across the United States to help them pursue a degree at the University of Oxford in the United Kingdom gratis. William also won the Boettcher Scholarship during his senior year of high school, receiving a full-ride to any 4-year institution in the state of Colorado.

My brother is an extremely intelligent and hard-working individual, along with an exceptionally loving brother. I am honored to be his sister, but I am also so tired of constantly living in his shadow. I have been called "William's sister" more times than I can count, and I am honestly sick of it. When you type "Rebekah Gohl" into the Google search engine, you are linked to William Gohl's profile on the Rhodes Scholarship website. I cannot escape from the title of "William's sister," even on the worldwide web.

So I decided to start exploring my Facebook and Instagram photos to see what other titles I have on the Internet. The pictures below display my role as a friend, sister, cousin, daughter, and student. I like having all of these roles. They demonstrate my desire to be a loving person and a positive contribution to my immediate community.

We all have roles in society. However, being placed in these roles on the Internet bothered me for some reason. I do not like to be thought of as "Peter's sister" or "John and Mary's daughter" or "Natalie's cousin." All of these titles describe part of who I am, but they do not express my whole self. I like to be thought of as Rebekah Gohl, a unique individual.  It seems that even on social media, I cannot escape from society's labels.

So what does all of this mean? I think it reinforces the idea that you cannot judge a book by its cover. Sure, I am "John and Mary's daughter" and "William's sister," but I am a much more unique individual than a set of titles and labels. If you look deeper into my profiles, you will discover my ceaseless passion for music and my growing faith. You will discover how I want to keep trying to be a better person, even though I know I am far from perfect. You will also discover how much I love the people I am blessed to have in my life. These aspects, along with my titles of "sister" or "daughter" or "friend," make up my true identity. As in real life, our e-dentities are defined not solely by what appears on the surface, but also by what lies underneath. Both in social media and real life, we need to look beyond the titles and faces of people to discover and appreciate who they truly are underneath it all.